That Bottle of Whisky

by Alethea Matthews

Walking through these doors, singing an old song, wondering if there was anyone who loved me more than you did….And suddenly, the wind blowing the dead leaves in my face, and the swing making that creaking sound as its entangled chains move here and there with the soft blows of wind, and I see you, I see you with me and then you suddenly just disappear, and I feel a chill of unnerving emotions run through my body, and I sense tears crawling down my cheeks, flooding my dry lips. Why does that always have to happen? Why is it always so hard to fight these feelings? Maybe because since you’ve left, things have taken the form of an undecipherable code, an unbreakable code, an unreachable goal.
And my dark skin darkens even more as I remember your telling me how pretty I am. And I want you to say those words again to me. I want you to stand there with your arms wide open so I could rush into them….but of course, that can never be possible. And at night, I wait for you to kiss me goodnight, I wait for you to tell me that you love me. I want you to give me that one kiss. Everything’s gone now. Finished, right? But I can see you still. Those days, those times, I still feel them. Memories, they are scattered all around the bare floor. And that bottle of whisky, it just doesn’t seem to finish. I cannot comprehend the feeling of my life. I don’t know what happened, what is happening, or what is going to happen. I’m still caught up in your smile, in your arms….because I want you. I want you so much. I just cannot live without you. I just cannot. I simply cannot!!!
But I know that you can never kiss me goodnight, you can never hold my little feeble hands in yours. You can never come back, can you, Mother?

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