Back to December

by Alethea Matthews

There were times like this when she would be lost in thought. She would think about darkness. She would be lost in a strange world, where there was no one except her. It was the time between night and day, when the sun was about to sink in the background & when the wind would blow through the branches and the dead leaves of the trees, like paulownia blossoms drifting down the street. This time was different. So different from the rest of the day. And then she would go back to December. To the time when they were together. And she would create dialogues & make up scenes. Scenes that had never happened & then she would start to cry. She cried for it. She craved for it every day. Every day was a miserable day, telling her that he was not with her. She wanted to kill herself. She wished that someday, the deep & velvety silence of twilight would absorb her and take her with it. And again, her thoughts would return to paulownia blossoms that drifted down the street, to the times in December when they were close.